This particular topic brings to memory a particular scene from the mind-meltingly, stupidly hilarious cartoon "Ed, Edd n Eddy": Where the Character named Johnny once said: (I am paraphrasing here since the exact quote escapes me) "I told you plank that bunnies will take over the world - and they HAVE!!"
What, you may ask, has this got to do with anything?
The answer, mine kinsmen, is simple: Cute is taking over the world. We are become enslaved to cuteness. Cute is evil in a cute exterior - it is as venal and as virulent as the worst kind of disease (I have a certain fondness for this metaphor/simile. Comparing things to disease generally is a very easy way of saying something is extremely annoying/dangerous and multiplies faster than Paris Hilton's crabs in the summertime): one which brings the greatest harm in the most unsuspecting manner.
For those of you who think I am saying that cute things hurt people, I will refer you to my previous blog post on the wonders of context. I'm not (exactly) saying that cute is out there being cute on Mondays and encouraging child labour and whistling happy show tunes while committing mass genocide in some obscure African county. What I'm actually saying is this: we are becoming overrun and desensitised by cuteness, in many ways.
We take for example, YouTube. It's the biggest thing since Jesus went to South Park, and the bulk of the most watched videos of all time are definitely something to do with a baby being bitten, a puppy with an existential crisis (to sleep or not to sleep, that is the question) and so on and so forth. I, for one, will be the first to admit that I may have spent hours watching and re-watching these videos completely oblivious of the fact that Charlie bit his brother, but rather oggle and aww the fact that Harry is stating the obvious in an undoubtedly appealing gurgling British Accent.
What is it with cuteness? Why does it appeal to people so much? If Bin Laden was a cutie pie would we all have been more sympathetic to the poor Muslim man who had a tiffle with the bad, bad American people? Had Hitler and Mussolini been like Charlie and Harry would we all be hanging Jew Heads on our front yard? Would we "sugar o'er the devil himself"? I have no idea, but I wouldn't say it's exactly TOO far fetch'd.
Now we come to the point were I reveal why I decided to take up this topic. Yesterday, I watched "How to Train Your Dragon". At first, I was much averse to the idea of fearsome, fire-breathing monstrosities such as dragons being cute-ified. It's 'Twilight' (I will not even deign that much-hyped cult/sect movie with actual double inverted commas (") (Disclaimer: I dislike 'Twilight' vehemently)) all over again. Vampires were blood sucking undead creatures who would scare the shit out of anyone. Now they're sexy/Adonis-like twinks who sparkle in the sunlight. With societies constant pathological need of replacing the old with the new, how long will it be before the images of Dracula are completely erased from our memories and the likes of Edward Cullen (I suggest spitting in disgust when you mention her name. Trust me, it helps.) will be all that's left?
Anyway, in "How to Train Your Dragon", Dragons have gone from being ferocious, merciless, sage and sacred creatures to cute, cuddly, 'Toothless', spunky softies. I swore that I would dislike it. I swore that I will forever be adamantly against it. And as often happens when you swear things (since swearing is a very, very bad thing to do): you tend to be proven wrong. I loved every single minute of "How to Train Your Dragon" and came close to actually feeling a shred of sympathy towards the end. Despite all my previous judgements, all my prejudice against this movie, I succumbed to its inherent and innocuous charm.
Here is my closing statement: I blame it all on the Cute.
Peace out, Good Morrow.
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